Poonami

Now there are many different types of poo but the one that I am going to be focusing on today I affectionately refer to as a Poonami!

My son was 4 days old when he decided to initiate me into the wonderful world of poonamis.

I thought I was getting the hang of all this baby stuff. He was still alive so clearly I was doing something right. I had successfully changed countless nappies by now and was feeling like I had nailed bum time. Of course I was writing it all down in the notebook. Check out my other post if recording poo in a notebook doesn’t make sense to you.

My husband had gone back to work so this was my first day properly on my own. We’d had a very uneventful morning and it was now bum time again. Having gathered all of the necessary equipment I started to change his nappy. I successfully managed to avoid the sprinkler going in my eye and was feeling quite smug as my quick reflexes resulted in me winning this bum time.

Clearly my son has quite a strong competitive streak and didn’t like the fact that I was about to finish completely unscathed. So he waited and bided his time. There is a lot of truth in the phrase pride comes before a fall. My goodness was I about to fall, spectacularly. Although thankfully not literally!

Smugly, feeling like the best mother in the whole wide world I tossed the used nappy into the nappy sack and as I reached for the new nappy it happened. Now, any time events start to unfold in slow motion you know it is going to be a truly horrific experience and this was no different. I gasped in horror as slowly he drew his legs up to his chest and took a deep breath before spraying out an endless torrent of poo. It just kept coming and coming. Dumbfounded I looked at the destruction that was already covering the baby suit, changing mat, carpet and muslin cloth that I used earlier to catch and stop his wee from spraying everywhere. Yet still there was a tidal wave exploding from his tiny bottom. How could anything so small produce such a large amount of poo? This was no ordinary poo (no it wasn’t an M&S poo) this was, what could only be described as a poonami!

So I did what any modern self-respecting parent would do…I reached for my phone, took a picture and sent it to my husband and friend.

The reply from my husband was “oh dear that’s messy. Sorry I’m not there to help.” Yeah right obviously what he actually meant was Thank goodness I’m not there.

My friend promptly replied with “that is disgusting and do you recall the conversation that we had about not being one of those parents that talks about poo or our friendship would be over? A picture is definitely worse than discussing it! Do not do this again.”

I look around and to my horror realise, like I have many times in my life before, that there is no aldultier adult to take charge of this situation. It’s all down to me. Then I realise that while I have spent so long procrastinating about where and how to start clearing up, the original mess has been made so much worse by my son now laying his legs back down onto the mat and doing what can only be described as poo angels. Great.

Anyway eventually somehow I did manage to clean everything up and hoped it was a one off unfortunate situation.

Little did I know this was only the start of my life with poonamis and that I still had a lot to learn about them.

#explodingnappy #changinganappy #poonami #newbornnappy #pooexplosion #leakingnappy