My first birth

My first baby was nearly 2 weeks ‘overdue’. On the morning before he arrived I had a show and later that evening I felt a slight tightening across my bump. Not painful, but a sensation that led me to believe that something was going to happen.

I rechecked my hospital bag and informed my husband that I thought that tonight was the night. He didn’t believe me. Apparently, this was about the 7th time since my due date that I had informed him tonight was the night.

We went to bed as normal. At about 1:30am I woke up and just lay there for a moment. Then, I felt the first slow trickle of my waters going. I excitedly got up and went to the bathroom. With every step I took, I felt another trickle. After having a wee I went back to bed and got out my kindle where I had downloaded an app to track my surges.

Once my surges were becoming regular I woke up my husband. He rang the hospital, who told him that as it was my first baby I needed to stay at home, have a bath and take paracetamol for the pain. Once he informed them that I wasn’t in any pain they told him to ring back later when I was.

We waited about another half an hour. By this point I could feel a lot of downward pressure and felt like he would be coming very soon. There still wasn’t any pain.

When we got to the hospital, we had quite a long wait to be seen as there were a lot of women (screaming) who were being assessed ahead of me. I must admit that listening to all of these women there was a very small quiet voice inside of me that whispered “maybe you aren’t in labour, if this is what labour looks like.” Then I pushed that voice aside and told myself that I had watched plenty of birthing videos and that I looked exactly like the women on the videos. All of the women in front of me were sent home as they weren’t in active labour.

Finally I was assessed. I was told that I was 3cms dilated (official classification of active labour) but that there weren’t any rooms available on the birthing suite (home environment as opposed to hospital environment) at that moment, which is where I wanted to give birth so I was put upstairs with women who had already had their babies so I could continue to listen to my mp3’s and relax.

This seemed like a perfect solution. I wanted to relax and listen to my mp3s and get into the zone.

The only problem was that my baby had other ideas. I had been lying on the bed for about 10 minutes when my tummy started to go a really funny shape and push down. I whispered to my husband you need to go and get someone as I think I am going to have my baby in here with all these people around me!

Eventually he managed to persuade a midwife to come and see me. She looked very uninterested and I can’t blame her as I was only 3 cm dilated and in no pain at all. In theory I had another 7 hours of labour ahead of me. She said that all she could do is give me an internal examination and wouldn’t I rather be left alone? After explaining that I honestly thought he was going to come out she agreed to examine me.

My husband said that her face was a picture. Apparently, her face suddenly dropped and all of the colour drained from her cheeks. She whispered in his ear that I was 10cm dilated and that he wasn’t allowed to let me push. He told her I was having a hypnobirth and wouldn’t be doing any pushing (my birthing hero). I vaguely remember hearing, alarms buzzing and the thundering of multiple feet running. Then, a lot of people appeared at my bedside and whizzed me through the corridors at a million miles an hour.

By this point, I was well and truly in the zone.

I thought I was in the birthing centre and that there was a pool in the corner of the room. In reality, I was on the normal hospital labour ward and the room was only marginally bigger than the bed I was lying on.

I said to my husband that I would like to have a swim in the pool and he kept informing me that there wasn’t one but by this point although I could hear his words, I wasn’t taking them in.

Once I was in the room I knew I was going to give birth in, I allowed myself to ultimately relax. So much so that, I had a little sleep. Once I woke up I was ready to breathe my baby out.

My husband rubbed my back throughout and whispered in my ear to stay relaxed and to breathe. Due to our birth preparation my husband was such an integral part of bringing our baby into the world. I couldn’t have given birth without him there. The midwife just watched quietly and waited.

After a few breaths his head was out. I honestly felt no pain throughout any of this. The only noise to be heard in the room was me quietly and calmly breathing. After a few more breaths the rest of him was out. He didn’t make a single sound and was so alert.

The midwife scooped him up and placed him onto my chest. I just remember looking down at him and thinking where have you come from? Were you really in my tummy a few moments ago?

Then, I put him down on my tummy so we could use breast crawl for him to get his first feed. After his first feed we took some pictures and were chatting to a couple of the midwives. Neither of them had seen a hypnobirth but had heard about them.

I looked around the room and asked if we had changed rooms. I was told that we hadn’t. But what happened to the pool? There never was a pool, my poor tired husband replied. I was so deeply in the zone that I had completely let go of all reality and instead, my brain had made me believe that I was in the birthing suite of my dreams. I really struggled to believe that the room I had given birth in looked as it did. It was so far removed from the room that I thought I had given birth in.

After about an hour and repeated prompts from the midwives to tell them when I felt a contraction and not feeling any, I realised that the placenta wasn’t on its way and may need some assistance. I had planned a natural third stage.

After checking on my chart they realised that I hadn’t had a wee for a long time and that possibly my bladder was blocking the placenta’s exit and would therefore need a catheter.

The easiest wee you will ever have the nurse said. Well, I don’t know what her wees are like but that definitely wasn’t the easiest wee I’ve ever had. To date, that was the worst pain that I have ever experienced! I’ve had an infected wisdom tooth, I’ve had killer headaches, I’ve had really bad period pains that stop you in your tracks and take your breath away but I have never felt anything so painful as having a catheter inserted.

I screamed the place down and begged for an epidural!

The nurses just laughed and couldn’t believe that I didn’t make a single sound when giving birth which most people would tell you is the worst pain imaginable yet I was in apparent agony from having a catheter.

“That’s because giving birth didn’t hurt, if it did I would have had all of the drugs you possess. This is so painful” I screamed.

Anyway, once my bladder was emptied my placenta made an arrival shortly after.

Once that was out of the way and I had had a few stitches I got up, got dressed and was itching to go home. I hated having to stay in hospital and clock watch until we had been there long enough to qualify for an early discharge.

I remember I kept looking down at my baby on my chest, and thinking how awesome mother nature is and how incredible women’s bodies are. Not only had I made and grown a baby and had the most amazing experience delivering my baby but now my body was going to continue to grow my baby by tailor making the most perfect food to meet his every need. Wow.

The next day we went on a long walk. The day after that we went wall paper shopping and the day after that I went to Lakeside to shop for a new feeding friendly wardrobe and never looked back.

I feel that having a hypnobirth made a huge difference to my ‘recovery.’ I wasn’t tired after giving birth, I was full of energy and didn’t want to spend days sat at home watching TV.

After attending baby groups and hearing everyone else’s birth stories I felt so sad that their experiences were so very different to mine. Most people hadn’t even heard of hypnobirthing. There were a lot of looks of disbelief and lots of comments of ‘ oh, you must have a very high pain threshold’ and ‘you must have wanted the drugs and have very good willpower not to cave in and accept them’. None of this could have been further from the truth.

It was at that moment that I thought I must train and become an instructor so that I can educate as many women as possible to know that birth doesn’t have to be the most horrific experience of your life, in fact it can be one of the best experiences of your life! You can feel excited and look forward to the birth of your baby.

#birthstory #myfirstbirth #hypnobirth #birth #newborn