Formula feeding and guilt

I breastfed both of my babies and science will tell you that ‘breast is best’ but that doesn’t mean I think that parents who don’t breastfeed are not doing the best for their children.

I love helping anyone who wants to breastfeed to but I’m not going to judge anyone who either doesn’t want to or for whatever reason can’t.

I hate hearing the way that lots of women who don’t breastfeed talk about themselves, especially when I’m in earshot. The language they use is so negative. Their facial expression says it all. Their eyes are cast down as they mumble a sentence about not doing the ‘right’ thing usually starting with a negative adverb.

The right thing to do for your baby isn’t always so clear cut. If attempting to breastfeed your child is making you cry and resent your baby and makes it impossible for you to function and look after your other children then carrying on as you are can’t be the ‘right’ thing to do.

I would like to add that this is where support should be given. I don’t think it is fair when there is so much pressure placed upon women to breastfeed that they shouldn’t be given the correct information before giving birth about feeding or once their baby is here be able to access the correct support in a timely fashion.

I have heard women saying that after reaching out for support they have been informed that their nipples are the wrong shape, or that the baby has the wrong shape mouth or the baby is doing it wrong. It is instantly suggested that they give formula. Lots of the advice that I have heard people relaying to me goes against all that I know about breastfeeding. What these women actually needed was the right information at the right time. Thankfully, three of my friends who were told similar things as mentioned above reached out to me in the early days and after chatting about what I did they went on to successfully breastfeed their babies.

If I had listened to all of the ‘advice’ I received there is no way that I would have exclusively breastfed both of my children. From personal experience I found everyone was only too willing to suggest that I formula fed my babies and that was from health professionals who are supposedly meant to be encouraging breastfeeding. Everything that was wrong with my babies was apparently down to me breastfeeding. I remember at the clinic one week being asked if my baby was sleeping through the night. He wasn’t. Obviously I would love for my baby to have slept through from day one but I wasn’t expecting that and it wasn’t what I got and at that point it didn’t bother me. We were napping in the day together just fine. I didn’t even bring up the sleep thing and yet I was told he wasn’t sleeping through because I was breastfeeding and that I should give him formula at night to make him sleep.

As I’ve mentioned before in previous posts where babies are concerned you can’t win. If you are formula feeding why aren’t you breastfeeding? If you are breastfeeding it is the cause of all of your baby’s problems.

At the end of the day as long as your baby is receiving milk of some kind then you are doing a good job so give yourself a pat on the back and stop feeling guilty about what you are feeding your baby and start feeling proud that you are feeding your baby full stop.

#formula #feeding #breastfeeding #guilt