You are hunting for unicorn poo! And news flash it doesn’t exist.

The perfect birth does not exist. The perfect wedding, holiday, child, the perfect anything doesn’t exist not in the traditional sense of the word anyway.

Cast your mind back to a perfect day, a truly hand on heart, perfect day. Ask yourself what was it that made it perfect?

Let’s say it was a wedding day as that is what most people say to me. Maybe it’s because I’m at that age where lots of my friends are either getting married or attending at least three weddings a year currently. Even if it wasn’t their own wedding day but a friend’s wedding that they attended as a guest. When I ask them what made it perfect, at first they may say some of the material things such as the bride’s dress was gorgeous or the decorations and flowers were exquisite but was that really what made it perfect? I’ve been to lots of weddings that have cost a fortune yet it was not the best day of my life and if they were honest probably not the bride and groom’s best day either! I have sat in lavish weddings watching the clock wondering how long I had to wait before it would be polite to leave.

Have you ever been in really grotty surroundings and still had a fantastic time? Have you ever been in bad weather and still had a great time? I know I have plenty of times.

I’ve been in torrential rain knee deep in thick oozy mud wearing just socks as I got my wellies stuck in the mud. And in my attempts to free the wellies ended up pulling my feet out and fell flat on my back in the mud. Now that should have been an awful day but I laughed so much with my friend that my belly hurt for the rest of the day. It was a really fun day.

So what is it that makes a perfect day or a perfect anything?

Honestly, the key here is you. You do. You have the power to look for reasons to make yourself feel good or bad. Yes your surroundings, the weather and people around you can help to get you to feel a certain way but only if you let them.

When I think back to my first birth very few people would describe it as perfect.

I started giving birth on a ward full of people with no one believing I was in active labour. I really wanted a water birth but never got one. I was seconds away from going to theatre with a retained placenta. I gave birth in a hospital a week after it had made the national news for shockingly bad care on the labour ward and general maternity care.

Yet that was one of the best days of my life. Yes my husband being there obviously helped me to have a perfect day but it was the way I was feeling and what I was thinking about that had the most impact. If I had a magic wand and could go back and change parts of the day I wouldn’t change a single thing. Giving birth even in those circumstances was pure perfection.

So many people are working their behinds off in the pursuit of perfection thinking that if they spend a certain amount of money or do a certain activity they can buy perfect and therefore happiness.

Instead if you stop looking for perfect and focus on the here and now and all of the wonderful things around you, you can have perfect all of the time.

Perfect is a mindset. In every moment there is perfection to be found but only if you look for it.

Start appreciating all of the perfection around you and stop ignoring it in pursuit of something that doesn’t exist.